Once again...i'm sitting in the com lab. Typing away like i'm mad. Oh yea...I changed the blog's song yesterday too. Nice? Haha...

Hm...I had this weird dream last night again. Something was bothering me...I know it. Just...can't seem to recall what it is.

Well...wasn't in the mood to comfort anybody yesterday. Therefore, I simply threw someone straight into hell because i couldn't be bothered.

Something is really wrong.

I dunno what...but today i get this feeling that someone out there is gonna suffer something really bad. Maybe even die. I'm kinda scared. (for the first time, my sadistic thoughts engulfed me? o.o) But yea...I hope nothing really happens.

Freya had been really active nowadays. I wonder if Sakura went with Kail on a honeymoon or sumthing. Cuz It's really bugging me lol. I'll really become a bad girl if i stick with Freya for too long. But then again...Freya isn't all bad. She's just...hard to control. As in, not really easy to tame. Therefore, I've been a not-so-nice girl lately. Not cute...not pretty...(heck. I'm already not pretty in the first place.) Speak my mind a lot...which isn't very good.

Man...Is Freya really the real me?

Don't tell me that i've been living in a illusion of sakura for so long. Nah...can't be true. I believe that she's there. I know she's there. Sakura is me...and my everything. Without her, I think i'll just be like an empty shell. Devoid of all that i've treasured...I'll just die spiritually.

Hm...i wanted to write a story...but because i was feeling kind of down, i didn't have the inspiration.
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I think i'm vile and ugly in the inside. Seriously...I am. I actually get jealous of others easily. I hate other girls because I find their existence disturbing and irritating. I feel so disgusted at myself. I wanted to be protected because others were protected and i was not. I HATED the world for being safe while i'm suffering some kind of stupid emotional turmoil.

I didn't want to be left alone all in the dark.

That's why i hated that person. It was that person who threw me down there. It was so dark...It was so scary. I screamed for someone but nobody came. I climbed as hard as i could but i keep slipping down and away. I wished that those who can see the light would suffer the same fate as me. I wished that they would DIE. I wanted them to know...How painful it was to be thrown like rubbish or trash into somewhere which is so dark.

Hatred. Anger. Despair.

What makes a fallen angel? Possibly those things. The other angels betrayed her...and she felt every single emotion which angels aren't supposed to feel. However, she slowly starts to hide her gray wings and makes it white. She smiles and hides her emotions.

Yes. Yes. The Perfect Angel.

But after some time, she realised what she wanted was not revenge. It was...acceptance, love...everything which she had lost when she fell into that hell hole. She cried...and prayed hard every night that someone would give her back all that she had lost. When they do, she would transform back into a white winged angel.

Till now...she waits...and waits.
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Sorry...went a bit crazy. Geez. Alright...shall stop blogging for now...See you guys later.