Therefore! I have devised a plan..to solve my problem. I decided to ask ning or joan to teach me how to use html to create blogskins! (plus, I can use my own pictures...so it's gonna rock!)
Anyways...moving on to my dreams....
I didn't mention this yesterday...but I had a dream of Sakura and Syaoran. (the cardcaptor sakura one....) It was weird. But cute in a way... Here's how it went:
A brown haired girl wakes up and rubs her emerald eyes gently. It is morning already? She thought sadly. Slowly, she dragged herself to the washroom to brush her teeth and wash her face. Through the darkness she shuffled...eventually reaching the wooden door.
With a push, she opened the door.
To her surprise, a boy the same age as her was inside. His eyes widened as he saw her and the young girl almost screamed. In a moment of panick, she quickly closed the door and faced it frontwards. "Sy...Syaoran kun..." The girl murmured. Then behind her a voice sounded, "Sakura, you do remember that Syaoran is staying with us for a few days right?" Sakura spun around to come face to face with a beautiful blue haired lady. "Okasan...(translated: mother...)" She looked down sheepishly. "I guess I forgot..." Then the door opened once more and Syaoran stepped out. Sakura blushed and looked away. It was not a surprise, ever since they met again, Syaoran had seemed so different.
More mature...more handsome..and more mysterious.
Syaoran smiled and spoke, "Morning, Sakura chan." Sakura nodded and walked past him into the washroom. Inside, she brushed her teeth and splashed her face with cold water. So many thoughts ran through her. Then she smiled into the mirror. She did not know why...but she was elated that Syaoran was here with her. He was someone special.
Okies..that's the first part...I didn't have time to write the others...shall continue tomorrow. Oh ya...I SERIOUSLY dreamt of this. Guess who I was in the dream? Sakura. It was so damn shocking. Up till now, I can't explain the feelings I felt when I looked at Syaoran. That's freaky...but they're soooo sweet. The other part was kinda interesting....Syaoran got jealous. Hahaha...okies...I better go... Shall continue tomorrow. See ya~!
Recently, i've been plagued by a serious personality that I always had since young but has now worsened.
Yes. I'm extremely super duper extremely shy.
In fact, I'm terrified of everybody now. I don't dare to talk to them...don't dare to interact at all. It's soo scary. You know..I watched Naruto..and there was this girl..who's called Hyuuga Hinata. She's even more shy than me. The poor girl is an "outcast" of her family because she was not strong enough in character-wise to take over as leader or sumthing liddat. However, I think that she's one of the sweetest girls I have even seen. If she wants to, she could have a great deal of determination which would not let her lose to her enemy. (unless it is Hyuuga Neji of course...her cousin is extremely strict with her. In fact, he hates her family and wanted to kill her during battle.) There was a part, where she said, "I want to...use my own power...to change this side of me."
I almost cried. Why? Why was she so much like me?
At that point of time, she was bleeding like mad from her cousin's attack and almost couldn't stand up. But she didn't give up. She tried attacking her cousin again. In the end, she suffered several internal injuries and was immediately rushed to the hospital. Afterwards, she still didn't recover fully for quite some time.
She was so strong. Unlike me. She had the right to win.....
After that, I admired and respected Hinata. She was amazing...more than she ever think she would be. I wish I could be strong. I wish I was like her.
Anyways...moving on...
Today I learned that if you really put your heart into it, you can do almost anything. We had the sports heats and it was amazing. I never regretted joining it this year. Even though we all competed in the rain, we were all burning with the flames of pride and happiness. I joined the javalin event and had three tries. My first two missed and were disqualified. I panicked. Everybody there had practice and all knew how to throw it. However, I never even TOUCHED a javalin before. Evidently, I was in trouble. Then a miracle happened on the third throw. I told myself that I could do it! I must believe!
With a final thrust with the javalin, I prayed.
The javalin flew high into the air. It came down...and stuck into the ground! (as long as your javalin touches headfirst into the ground, your score will be marked. If not, your score would be disqualified and not counted.) I smiled. Mr Liw, my last year Design and Tech teacher, practically shouted, "Good one!" Later they measured it. It was 8plus metres. I gasped. It was more than the average shot of most of the girls! They only got 5plus metres or were disqualified. Thus, I was accepted into the final six participants. We had a really heated battle. All these opponents were really amazing! They threw every single one with grace, force and to an extreme distance. In the end, I was sooo close. I got a fourth. But hey, I was happy. Fourth out of all the fifteen contestances! Plus, most had practices or had tried the javalin before. But I was different, I never even touched it nor practiced once! It reminded me of the Uchiha clan's Sharingan eye. (It is in Naruto, it's a special kind of ability which the eyes turn blood red in the middle and have special rings. The number of rings signify the level of the ability. As in from weakest to strongest. It allows the user to see objects that are moving at even the fastest speed, has hypnotic powers and can COPY the OPPONENT'S MOVES.)
Keke...I luv Sasuke kun! He's like so damn cool!
Yup! His full name is Uchiha Sasuke. Which means he has inherited the special bloodline, the Sharingan. Therefore, he is considered as a "genius". You should just go and watch the show or read the comic! It's like...so damn amazing! I love him to bits! hahaha...
Oops! It's sooooo late. Better go~ see ya!
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Why do ppl keep betraying me?
Sorry that I haven't been blogging much lately..I was kinda busy and slacking.
Well....have you read the title yet??? (look up plz.)
I keep getting betrayed. I dunno why. People whom I trust suddenly backstabs me. I can't believe it... You wanna know the latest incident??
Well...it started out with me going to school today. Then halfway through it, some of my friends told me that someone said I was "fake". (as in hypocrite) I went.."O.....kay." Cuz I realli didn't know how to react. Apparently...one of my blog readers...(if I had told you my blog url PERSONALLY, it means I trust you. If I don't....I trust u'll be gd anyways.) someone in my class who had read my blog, saw the part where I said Esther was a bad person. Then...she went to Esther and probably said something like, "She has a blog WHICH SHE MAINLY USES TO SCOLD PPL IN CLASS." Like....what?! cuz that's so not true! You guys read my blog...and even if i occasionally state a comment about someone, it's a fact and it is TACTFUL. Anyways...she told Esther about what i wrote about her in my blog. (which was only one to two sentences long) Then...both of them said i'm a hypocrite. They said I was "fake".
At first my inner self wanted to kill that person immediately. Yes, I don't deny I was EXTREMELY mad. Worst still, i'm not in a gd mood lately as I get easily irritated. Yet, after some time, I decided to let the matter off. I don't wanna point fingers. I don't wanna crap or gossip about how evil that person was or something. She's my.....friend. I can't go and just slap her...can i? Anyways...now I sincerely want to be friends with Esther. Why? Because I realli pity her. I kinda believe now that no matter how hardcore a person is, they all need some care and love. True, many ppl seroiusly hate Esther cuz she betrayed them and did a lot of backstabbing. But how many ppl saw that she was lonely? Many ppl can say she deserve it, but I don't think so. I always thought...imagine those strong willed ppl in school you see everyday...they get bullied yet they still stand up not matter what and they always show a strong character, but when they reach home, they feel sad and lonely. Perhaps some even cry.
No matter how perfect someone may seem...no matter how strong someone may seem...we all have mistakes and imperfections.
I don't deny that I hated Esther once. It was because she said terrible stuff about me just cuz she doesn't like me. Plus, I was those kind of ppl who have a motto that says "If you treat me nice, i'll treat you nicer. If you step on my tail and do bad things to me, I'll make sure u get hell." (THAT was my motto when i got into secondary school. It was the only way I keep myself sane and protect myself too.) But now....I don't hate her anymore. She's just another classmate...and hopefully..maybe a trustworthy friend. I dunno...but everyone gotta start off somewhere right?
As for that betraying friend of mine.....well...I know who you are. Also, I just wanna say something that i realised to you. If you're reading this, just take it as my opinion and if u wanna do something about it or not, it's your choice. You've changed you know? Since the start of the secondary one year, you have changed so much. You used to be so sweet and bubbly. Now? You've become a mere shadow of someone popular. Does being popular mean so much to you? You were alright the way you were. Nobody needs to be someone they're not just to gain the approval of some popular gang...and I mean NOBODY. We're all unique. I loved my friends for the way they were...and you too. I don't need them to be popular. I don't need them to be a genius either. I don't need them to be anything they don't like.
I only need my dear friends the way they are.
Therefore...I would wish that you come back to your senses. All your friends are here. All you need to do is to embrace them and be their friend. Then, we'll all see you through any storm. (and I mean it once again. haha..) The same thing applies to all my friends: No matter where we go, we are always there for each other.
Anyways.........That's all I wanna say. Keke...the rest is up to u guys.
Oh yea....here a gd news! My friend's back! She's okay! She's nice! And I appreciate her. hehe.... (you know...the friend whom I said I was worried for...ning should know.) I'm so damn happy for her......soooooooo happy~
Hm....are these all the words coming from the bottom of my heart? Yea...I'm hundred percent sure! That means...I only act tough. But i still have a soft heart inside. That's great! lol....I needed a confirmation. Seems like I did it.
Oh ya...wanted to inform all blog readers that I'm flying off to shanghai on friday. Which is tomorrow...i'll miss you all cuz i won't be back until next sat. (the 2nd day before school reopens.) Will be blogging and be on msn if I can though.
Okies...that's all for now...I shall go take dinner. See ya!
