fallen angel........=The story of eternal love=

Saturday, October 28, 2006 Surveys surveys surveys.

Okies...here's a weird...survey thingy. (from hwee tian's blog.)

1. Single, taken or crushing?
- Single....okay. Fine. Crushing maybe.

2. Are you happy with your life now?
- One must be contented with what one has. So yeah.

3. When you meet the right person, did you fall in love with him fast ?
- I never even met him. =.=

4. Have you ever had your heart broken ?
- Yea...

5. Do you believe there are some circumstances where cheating love is acceptable ?
- It's never acceptable. The thought that the person i would (supposingly) love actually is unable to decide between me and another girl, is rather irksome.

6. Would you take back someone if he cheats you ?
- I hate liars. But i guess it depends.

7. Have you talked about marriage with another person before ?
- Nope.

8. Do you want children ?
- Not now...maybe when i'm older.

9. How many ?
- Around three. Boy, girl, boy.

10. Would you ever consider abortion ?
- Not really. Unless the situation is terrible.

11. If someone likes you now, what is the best way to let him know your feelings ?
- Feelings...? As in I like him back or what? I suppose whatever the answer is, we must be honest to the other party. O.O

12. Do you enjoy getting into relationships ?
- Love the attention. Hate the problems. Overall, I try to refrain from it.

13. Honestly, what's the furthest thing you and your ex did ?
- You're...thinking too far, aren't you? O.O Nothing really intimate.

14. Do you believe in love at first sight ?
- Yea...but it hasn't happen to me so far. xD

15. Are you romantic ?
- Depends on my mood and my love towards that person. I can be really sweet if i wanted to. =X

16. Do you believe that you can change someone ?
- Yup. I believe that everybody can make a difference in someone else's life.

17. If you could marry someone, where would it be ?
- Anywhere that has the atmosphere i suppose. As long as you're with the one you love, nothing else matters superficially for that moment.

18. Do you give in easily when fighting ?
- Yes. I'm always the one who says sorry.

19. Do you have feelings for someone right now ?
- Yes.

20. Have you ever wished you could have had someone but you messed it up ?
- I'm rather blur. So it's really sad that i frequently miss chances like that. xD

21. Have you ever broken a heart ?
- Yeah.

22. If one day your bestfriend fell in love with the boy you are deeply in love with, what would you do ?
- .....O.O That sounds so familiar. Well...i'll give them my blessings if that boy loves her back. After all, if he can't even make a firm decision on who he likes, I'm sure he's not the one for me. Also, i'm pretty sure they'll break up soon. =X It's the thing that always happens.

23. Are you missing someone right now ?
- Yeah. So many ppl, in fact.

Name 4 friends you want them to do this survey: Um...Anybody who comes? I'm not fussy about this. Haha. Just tell me when you do it so that i can go see.

And thus ends the post for today. No time le! Have fun guys.

I love all my friends.
I love my primary school friends.
I love my secondary school friends.
They all played a part in making who i am now.

Special thanks to:
-Min
-Geelyn
-Ning
-Hwee Tian
-Danitza
-Pearleen
-Joanie xD
-Jean & Jane
-Frank
-All my previous classes in primary school
-secondary 106 (year 2005) , 206 (year 2006)

And lastly, all the people i had known throughout my life. I love you all.

P.s: Pardon the short list. xD cuz i didn't have the time and brain cells to think about who i should thank. There should be a longer list though.

# posted by FinalFantasyX at 12:42 AM

Wednesday, October 25, 2006 The Sins

You know. I've always been thinking.

About life...about stuff.

Today, I've realised that even liking someone can be so difficult.

Why did it have to be him?

I don't know.

Since when did i start looking at him?

He used to smile at me.

Since when did it change?

They will disappear.

I closed my eyes. I denied everything i felt for him.

I didn't need him. I hated him.

I stood at the corner...watching.

I kept waiting...on and on and on.

The tears which fell with the sands of time...started to fade away.

Everytime his name was mentioned, my heart would ache.

Then i would realise...that i really could not put him down.

A voice called out. "Please return...please look back."

When i heard he wasn't feeling well...

My whole body felt like it wanted to run to his side.

Stay alive. Don't leave me. Don't die.

Yet in the end...

With sadness and grief in my eyes...I utter:

"Everything has already crumbled."

"It's too late."

"I once loved you. But it is now too late."

And the story ended.
___________________________________________________________________

Meh. I had the weird feeling of sadness that came from love today. O.O

Maybe i watched too much love dramas.

Oh wellz. Here's a nice little part about love.

And so...ends my blogging today. Cuz i'm lazy....

P.s: I just realised that this post is so filled with nonsense. Oh wellz.

# posted by FinalFantasyX at 9:29 PM

Thursday, October 19, 2006 Another hurried post

Okay...changed the blogskin...but the song isn't working well.

Oh heaven...WHY?!

Tomorrow there's choir as well. Don't see the need for us to practice like mad people...But i guess that teachers can be rather oblivious to many things.

Pft. In an insanely bad mood now. Stupid scanner.

Stupid streaming next year.

I hope we all choke on the haze tomorrow. Grrrr....always going home so late...like we even have oxygen to breathe on our way home.

What are we....? BACTERIA?!

We need oxygen damnit.

The haze must be getting to my brain.

Geez...and P was saying that we needed to 'spare a thought' for the haze. o.o

She said it wasn't its fault and so on...

Still...it's a fact that its choking us.

And it's hot. Really really absolutely happy-dying-hot.

Maybe i shouldn't be so angry at the scanner. Maybe i shouldn't blame the haze.

Maybe i should just get some sleep.

Yea. I should. Gdnite then everybody.

The little girl shuffles sleepily back into her room.

She closes her eyes and dreams of something strange.
She dreamt that her favorite cousins came over.

Among them, was a particular person that she wanted to see the most.
"These are...memories?" She asked quietly as she watched her memory self barbeque the food.

She saw herself being overwhelmed by the heat from the burning charcoals.
At this point of time, that person came up and walked towards her.
Softly, he poked her with something in his hand.

It was a packet of green tea.

Somehow, she didn't forget. She was so happy then.
She didn't ask for him to bring her a drink or anything. Yet he somehow knew she needed it.

The little girl watched on as her memory self smiled and thanked him.
Tears fell from her eyes as she bent down to cry.

"We always forget the happy memories...and remember the undesirable ones."
"Yet...It's the happy memories.....that kept us going."

"It was these memories....That were truely the most important ones of all."

# posted by FinalFantasyX at 12:12 AM

Tuesday, October 10, 2006 Final Fantasy 12

Back from the exams....but still having limited playing time.

Anyways. Have you guys seen Final Fantasy 12? It rocks like hell. Damn. Just watching the trailer is enough to set me on a final fantasy craze.

Kay. So i admit. The guy whom Ashe married was rather...good looking and all....BUT WHY NOT VAAN? and who in the name of heaven is that girl who hugged Vaan liddat? =
Not sure what's going on. Anyways...I should make more comments after playing it.

Gonna go play my PS2. Rawr.

Also, I've decided to be more independent. Shall never ever go disturb frank ever again. He can go on with his life or wadever. But i shall not ever disturb anybody anymore.

I went downstairs for basketball shooting at 8.45pm last night. I thought about a lot of things.

I realised that i was afraid and all alone. That's why i relied so much on others. What made it worse....is that some of my friends from pri school probably thought that my new change is "bitchy" or "attention seeking". (The reason i said this is cuz i saw something i wrote somewhere...a long time ago. I wrote about how someone had hurt me.)

I wanted so much to be stronger. Yet the strength i found wasn't the one i was searching for.

When i reached out for others, they disappeared. Just like that. They faded away...leaving only memories of someone who had once been there with me.

And you know...I've found out that i can't really like someone in that kind of boy-girl way anymore. There's just no reason to. Which is why i always felt pity for people who complain about their love life problems. I'm more or less focusing on my studies now....

Maybe one day i'll find someone whom i can love with all my heart. Someone who i can sacrifice everything for.

But for now...I'm just chasing something that isn't true.

I never wanted to give up....on that fantasy of mine.

I didn't like the feeling of being stuck to reality.

I'm sick of running away. I'm sick of crying. I'm sick of calling for help.

I don't care what others think. Not anymore. Not now.

I just wanted to reach out for something which i hoped for.
___________________________________________________________________

Lyrics for the song: "Kiss Me Goodbye" from final fantasy 12

Japanese (Original)

Anata wa mayotte, ite mo
Doa wa aiteru yo
Futari no sekai dake de wa
Mitasarenain deshou?

Hane wo ageru kara
Shinjite tobe-pa ii

Kiss me good-bye, love is memory
Anatawo ushinattemo
Aishita kiokuga tuyosani kawarukara

Tashikana monowo sagashite
Daremoga koisuruga
Yuruganai aiwa jibunno nakaniaru

Kiss me good-bye, sayonara
Atarashii watashi ni kawaru

Kiss me good-bye
Kiss me good-bye

Kiss me good-bye, love is memory
Atarashii futari ni kawaru nara

Kiss me good-bye, nakanai
Anata wo aiseta kara
Anata wo aiseta kara

English (Translation from Japanese Lyrics)

Though you lost your way
The door is already open
You can't be satisfied
For the world only with me

I give you wings,
You should believe and fly

Kiss me good-bye, love's memory
Even if I lose you
My memory of love changes into my strength

Everyone falls in love
For searching a reliable thing
But a reliable love exists in ourselves

Kiss me good-bye, farewell
I will make myself new

Kiss me good-bye
Kiss me good-bye

Kiss me good-bye, love's memory
If we make ourselves new

Kiss me good-bye, I don't cry
Because I could love you
Because I could love you

English (Original)

You may say my love is all you need to see you through
But I know these words are not quite true
Here is the path you're looking for, an open door
Leading to worlds you long to explore

Go, if you must move on alone
I'm gonna make it on my own

Kiss me good-bye, love's memory
Follow your heart and find your destiny
Won't shed a tear for love's mortality
For you put the dream in my reality

As time goes by I know you'll see this of me
I loved you enough to let you go free

Go, I will give you wings to fly
Cast all your fears into the sky

Kiss me good-bye, love's mystery
All of my life I'll hold you close to me
Won't shed a tear for love's mortality
For you put the dream in my reality

Kiss me good-bye, love's memory
You put the dream in my reality
___________________________________________________________________

The little girl sits by the window once again.
She gazes into the ever-open sky.
Silently, she sheds a tear.

"If only I could see your world...would we be waiting for each other now?"

She lowers her head in despair.
For she had almost lost all hope.
If this were to continue...

The dream might just end.

# posted by FinalFantasyX at 9:44 PM

Wednesday, October 04, 2006 A hurried post.

Man...I've just finished studying my geog and maths paper 1. (a.k.a mugging)

Learned that from joan. =D Feel so proud of her lol. Dunno why.

Okay...now to talk about some things. No long speeches in this post lol. But some weird stuff.

Today's walk home from school is quite nice. I bought two new pens! (yay!) at popular. Sooo nice. One ish ballpoint and the other ish ink pen. Wanted a new highlighter as well...but they didn't have any nice colours there.

Walk walk walk...through the HDB-looking-like-blocks (heck. Most of the flats in singapore ARE HDB flats.) Then i saw two cute little children bending over the side and putting a piece of paper on something. On closer inspection, it was a kitty cat~ So adorable. It was kinda sleepy and did not mind them touching it. Guess what the two kids were doing? They were actually putting an almost crumpled piece of paper onto the cat...to act as a blanket for the cute little thing.

Awwww....so cute right? Those three were a picture of innocence and goodwill.

Alright. So i admit...the children MIGHT be disturbing the poor cat in a way...but at least it was because they wanted to treat it nice in a way of theirs...so you can't really blame children for not understanding some things.

Oops. Better hurry. My dad is asking me to go to bed already.

Anyways...Then when i entered the condo...I saw that guy. O.O

This time he seemed a little weird. Like in a panic or something. I saw him rushing down the steps on the other side of the pool...he kept looking at me. It was like it shocked him to see me lol. What the heck? I mean....i've been living in the same condo as him for like...dunno how long...and now then he notices me and gets a shock? It was really....ironic in a sense.

Anyways. I have to admit that the way he suddenly appeared and kept looking in my direction...sorta threw me off guard and i was totally flushed. (a shade of red in embarrassment)

Maybe cuz i look better recently, so ppl start noticing me??

What a superficial world. O.O

Maybe i should ignore that guy if he starts talking to me. Then again...maybe i should just die on the spot.

I'm imagining stuff. It's so not good. It's not like it is even confirmed that he even notices me at all. Probably he was staring at something else which HAPPENED to be in my direction.

I'm not so sure. Honestly.

And no. I'm not getting contacts just yet. My mum thinks i'm not ready lol. She's probably afraid i would go blind or something. Still...it's nice of her to actually worry bout such stuff. xD Luv her lots lol.

Damn. I'm going mad already. I better sleep. The sleep deprievation is killing my brain cells. (Not to mention plus I hit my head TWICE on the car pillar (inside) yesterday.)

Bye then~ And aww....I can't believe Daryl and Daniel actually tagged!

Yay for happiness.

The little girl has always been staring at that person.
She's rather unsure whether he was her prince or not.
Sure...he HAD the looks of a prince...but what about other factors?

She's been watching him.
He doesn't know.

When she gave up one day...
he THEN realises her presence.

"What's with the world?" She mumbles.
But still. With a quiet heart, she looks down and secretly smiles to herself.
After all, the one whom she had been watching has finally looked at her right back in the eye..
And noticed her presence.

# posted by FinalFantasyX at 11:06 PM