Yup. Common tests are here. My science and english today went quite well. But I dun think my science can get full marks liao. Darn.

Oh...and recently, we discovered how talented the boys in our class are. Well...maybe not recently. But they're realli gd. I'm like...a little afraid my ranking in class will go down. lol...but gd luck to everybody. Also, I've discovered that the boys in class treat me very nicely.... Dunno if they're afraid or something. Haiz.... they speak to me very politely lor... haha...not that it's bad..but it seems so unnatural of them. It's okay though..so far.

I nid to study more...and finish my darn maths. I'm slacking......damn damn damn.

I've been worried bout a friend lately. She seems like the pain has numbed her and brought her to a standstill. If she has gd and bad personalities like me...then her gd side has fallen temporary. I'm so sad...cuz i've been hearing some things that are unpleasant to hear. She's quite a kind person last time. But it has all changed now. I'm terrified she already lost herself to the darkness. I'm terrified that it's too late. Please don't change. You know that we all love you the way you are last time. It was enough. Don't lose please...Cuz we're here.
(P.s If you know who it is...plz dun say it out. I know it sounds stupid..but I dun wan ppl to know who is going through all this. Take it as privacy. Or then again...everybody can ponder about what I said. And ask yourself whether you have changed in a wrong way.)

"I won't forget you ever. I'll wait if it's the case." Yeah...right.

As they say...everything which has a beginning...most likely has an end. So if a guy ever says this to you...don't melt immediately...think about it. What will happen if he waits? Then when you finally get into relationships and you don't like him but someone else. How hurt is he going to be? I don't think relationships should be based on pity. Don't let pity for anybody rule over your feelings. At least...that's what I think. So guys...these words won't work on me. Haha..cruel as it may seem, It's the only way to prevent both parties from being hurt BADLY.(being hurt is inevitable. But being hurt BADLY can be avoided.)

Some of my friends say that some guys in the class like me. Like....wow? More like they like my friend...haha... cuz she's more outgoing..so i'm not surprised. I'm sooo quiet...maybe they see me as soft, demure, silent and elegant. (or something liddat.) Am I praising myself? EEk...now THAT'S scary.

I stil can't forget those words one of my classmates from before said. I only told him that I liked animation. Then he called me "despo". (As in desperate for boys or something) I got hurt by the first word already. But I tried to shake it off..and I said. "Liddat then called despo arh? Then you've never seen those real desperate ones." He totally gave this shocked emotioncon and replied, "I refused to believe it at first. But your school realli changed you." Of course, he meant it in a BAD way. I got so hurt, I didn't have the mood to do anything else. I didn't cry though. Nowadays I find it hard to cry. Even if I realli want to...I can't cry anymore. It's like...my tears are stuck temporary.

I miss playing with p, min, dan, joan, ning, geel...and everybody else. We were all so close. But now everybody is engulfed in their own world. Too busy for each other anymore. Sometimes me too..have too little time for them. For that, I'm ashamed.

SHAMED SHAMED SHAMED SHAMED. (now should I cry and fall into despair? Maybe..maybe not.)

Okay...fine. I admit I have a crush in my secondary school. But it's pure infactuation. I know that. I dun like him anymore....you know the reason why I liked him in the first place? Cuz of the aura thingy again and also cuz I met him since I was young. He played with me...and I guess we were friends for a few hours. But I had to go home..and I never saw him again. Until in secondary school. Shocking huh? I knew he looked familiar. Hahaha....I hate my infactuations. It's irritating. Nowadays I see him more...but it's pointless. Cuz when we pass...i'll feel nothing..and also my face will be emotionless. Haha....The crushing is off. No more feelings..no nothing.

Just study study study.

Hahaha...they always say.."Women are nothing but trouble". Well guess wad? So are guys! They make girls go all fuzzy and wobbly just like how girls get guys all fuzzy and wobbly. It's pointless for now really. But everyone needs security...so we can't blame anybody...

CRAP. I've talked too much. It's late. I better go study and do maths. I MUST GET INTO TRIPLE SCIENCE. Otherwise..i might sink into the REAL depression. (nah...jk. I love myself too much.)

Oh ya...here's a funny thing. One of the previous days...I dreamt of a guy in the animation. FUNNY. I never dreamt animation ppl before...or did i? Anyways...the stupid part was when I wanted to tell him that I liked him...he shushed me. And told me that he was gay and he feels that I shouldn't like him anymore. Like...wad the hell? HAHAHHAHA....I was totally blur when I woke up. What a weird dream. Gay? lol...it really seemed so anti climax. Hahaha......

I better go take dinner. See ya!